The passage of time can reveal all of the various changes, growth, and successes you’ve experienced. It should depict who you were, and how incredibly far you’re now from that younger, less mature, slightly awkward version of yourself. And for me..it usually does, with one very awful and blatantly clear exception. I have found that one event has become a cyclic theme in my life, causing similar obstacles, pain, and trouble that leave me doubting whether I have really changed that much from earlier years. This awful event returns annually, and always manages to catch me off-guard and unprepared for the trouble that lies ahead. It’s incredibly enticing and almost irresistible in nature, and I always find myself falling for its hellish trap. Once again, it has made its evil entrance. Take a deep breath and brace yourself… its time for that Formal Dance.
Sure, it seems innocent at first. Just a night of fun, and elegance. So, of course, you’ll go. You’ll work out the ‘details’ later..the dress, the shoes, the bag, maybe the dinner beforehand…all of the small things. It’s no big deal, right? You’re living in disillusionment.
At some point, usually about two weeks before, I realize that I have options for the dress, and yes options for shoes, and bags, and dinners. Lost among a plethora of “options”, I realize the one dreaded deficit…I don’t have a date. Somehow in my grand vision of a starlight evening of romance, I have forgotten the simple fact that I am single, and its time for Formal. One must see the irony. While I have dated various people within the past few years, I am inevitably single whenever it comes time for a formal dance. I know what you’re thinking…and yes, it probably is some kind of conspiracy.
But, two weeks is still (in my opinion), an incredibly large amount of time. Undoubtedly, it’s enough time to meet the ideal guy (probably a hopeless romantic and a passionate writer from some European country) and fall completely in love. Then the formal dance would conveniently serve as one of our many dates, and possibly even the pivotal point in the relationship in which he unveils his plans to marry me and honeymoon in Paris. Yes, that’s what would happen. I was sure of it.
So, another week goes by, and for whatever reason this wonderful young gentleman has not clearly entered my life (despite the fact that I’ve straightened my hair for two days in a row, and made myself entirely approachable in the basement of the Baylor library). How could this have happened? So, here I am, one week and still no date. I realize I haven’t actually asked anyone, and since this is a sorority event, it’s not like I can wait around for a guy to suggest that we go to a Kappa Delta formal together.
It’s at this point that one is forced to consider their options. I can certainly ask a guy, and see if anything comes of it. However, if he’s a friend, you risk stretching the boundaries of the friendship and creating a somewhat strained and uncomfortable evening. Or worse, he’ll spend the evening hitting on your sorority sisters, and think that’s alright considering you’re just friends. On the other hand if you ask someone you actual like, there’s the possibility that he’ll say no, and leave you wondering whether or not his grandmother really does have a birthday celebration that evening that he simply cannot miss. And then there’s the option of being ‘set up’ by someone, perhaps even one of your sisters, however one bad experience of this kind will cause you to cross this one off the list. (If you haven’t had that bad experience, I’d recommend crossing it off anyway..)
It is at this point in my personal ‘Formal’ dilemma that I now find myself. I would love to go, but I don’t feel like going through the above options. So I ask..isn’t there another way? Will this formal dance defeat me, as it has in past years, and leave me in awkward situations, wishing I had simply stayed home and watched Seinfeld? One thing’s for sure…it’s a challenge that I will continue to face, as will other single college women...and I refuse to back down. I have one week, and I’m on a mission.
After all, one of these days, I just know I’m going to have that wonderful, amazing guy for that lovely evening. And maybe he’ll even be able to dance…
Sure, it seems innocent at first. Just a night of fun, and elegance. So, of course, you’ll go. You’ll work out the ‘details’ later..the dress, the shoes, the bag, maybe the dinner beforehand…all of the small things. It’s no big deal, right? You’re living in disillusionment.
At some point, usually about two weeks before, I realize that I have options for the dress, and yes options for shoes, and bags, and dinners. Lost among a plethora of “options”, I realize the one dreaded deficit…I don’t have a date. Somehow in my grand vision of a starlight evening of romance, I have forgotten the simple fact that I am single, and its time for Formal. One must see the irony. While I have dated various people within the past few years, I am inevitably single whenever it comes time for a formal dance. I know what you’re thinking…and yes, it probably is some kind of conspiracy.
But, two weeks is still (in my opinion), an incredibly large amount of time. Undoubtedly, it’s enough time to meet the ideal guy (probably a hopeless romantic and a passionate writer from some European country) and fall completely in love. Then the formal dance would conveniently serve as one of our many dates, and possibly even the pivotal point in the relationship in which he unveils his plans to marry me and honeymoon in Paris. Yes, that’s what would happen. I was sure of it.
So, another week goes by, and for whatever reason this wonderful young gentleman has not clearly entered my life (despite the fact that I’ve straightened my hair for two days in a row, and made myself entirely approachable in the basement of the Baylor library). How could this have happened? So, here I am, one week and still no date. I realize I haven’t actually asked anyone, and since this is a sorority event, it’s not like I can wait around for a guy to suggest that we go to a Kappa Delta formal together.
It’s at this point that one is forced to consider their options. I can certainly ask a guy, and see if anything comes of it. However, if he’s a friend, you risk stretching the boundaries of the friendship and creating a somewhat strained and uncomfortable evening. Or worse, he’ll spend the evening hitting on your sorority sisters, and think that’s alright considering you’re just friends. On the other hand if you ask someone you actual like, there’s the possibility that he’ll say no, and leave you wondering whether or not his grandmother really does have a birthday celebration that evening that he simply cannot miss. And then there’s the option of being ‘set up’ by someone, perhaps even one of your sisters, however one bad experience of this kind will cause you to cross this one off the list. (If you haven’t had that bad experience, I’d recommend crossing it off anyway..)
It is at this point in my personal ‘Formal’ dilemma that I now find myself. I would love to go, but I don’t feel like going through the above options. So I ask..isn’t there another way? Will this formal dance defeat me, as it has in past years, and leave me in awkward situations, wishing I had simply stayed home and watched Seinfeld? One thing’s for sure…it’s a challenge that I will continue to face, as will other single college women...and I refuse to back down. I have one week, and I’m on a mission.
After all, one of these days, I just know I’m going to have that wonderful, amazing guy for that lovely evening. And maybe he’ll even be able to dance…
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