Confessions of a Troubled Bridesmaid

Confessions of a Troubled Bridesmaid
June 11, 2007

*published on website of San Antonio Weddings magazine


We’ve all heard the saying ‘always the bridesmaid, never the bride’. I’m beginning to fit it quite well, with one slight alteration… ‘always the [single] bridesmaid’ seems more appropriate. I love weddings, really, I do. But, being a single bridesmaid (repeatedly) is rough. And while all bridesmaids are thrilled for the bride, and enjoy the celebration, I think it’s time to acknowledge the awkward experiences and trouble that the perpetually single bridesmaid knows all too well.

The single bridesmaid is easy to spot, as she has no fiancé, husband, or even committed boyfriend to introduce to the three boyfriends, two husbands and one fiancé of the other bridesmaids in the wedding. At the reception, sitting to her left will be her cousin conversing with her husband, comparing the flower arrangements to the ones they had for their wedding. And, sitting to her right, is the boyfriend of another fellow bridesmaid. Their excessive flirting is enough to make anyone uncomfortable.

The single bridesmaid in this situation must maintain her self-respect and sanity, and search for someone with whom she can share some light conversation. Since she doesn’t have a partner to dance with, her only opportunity to dance is likely to be in the group dancing in which single women (mostly) come together and dance in a sort of circle. And when the slow songs come on, the single bridesmaid will return to the (empty) wedding party table, and watch the other couples enjoying one another’s company. She’ll probably even make it a Kodak moment and snap a few pictures of the happy couples.

The single bridesmaid will then wander to various tables of family members, and politely answer questions about how old she is now and whether she is still dating what’s-his-face (clearly she isn’t). She will answer these questions repeatedly, and will listen as her grandmother points out every single young man that happens to be at the wedding. The single bridesmaid will try to ignore the grim reality that her grandmother is now trying to set her up with guys.
Luckily, She will momentarily be saved from this realization, because it’s time for the tossing of the bride’s bouquet. The bride will look back, make eye-contact with the single bridesmaid, and try to toss the bouquet in her direction. Unfortunately, (and inevitably), the single bridesmaid will just barely miss the bouquet.

Yet, all of these minor difficulties are nothing compared to the most significant difference that the single bridesmaid will experience. While she is extremely excited for the bride, she will also be struck by sadness, as someone dear to her is entering upon a whole new chapter of life that she cannot possibly understand. How can she understand the chapter…she doesn’t even own the book! She’ll feel a greater separation than the other bridesmaids, and fear that time will pull them apart, as they have less and less in common.

When all is said and done, the single bridesmaid will celebrate as everyone does, and will admire the bride even more than before she was ‘the bride’, and recognize her new courage, beauty, radiance, and passion. She will see how wonderful it is to be overwhelmed by love, and will be renewed by the assurance that such love still exists in this world. Perhaps one day, she’ll fall in love. And until then, she’ll continue being the single bridesmaid, knowing that next time (or sometime), it just might be her time to catch the bouquet.

By Courtney Jewett, an senior English major of Baylor University

Internships article

Internships give graduates competitive edge during job market slump
By Courtney Jewett
1/26/1008
*printed in Baylor Lariat

The competition is on for 2008 seniors graduating into a possible economic recession and declining job market.

A recession is defined as a decline in a country’s gross domestic product (GDP) for two or more successive quarters of a year.

According to CNNMoney.com, “top economists from two of the major Wall Street Firms- Merrill Lynch and Goldman Sachs- say recession is likely already here.”

This economic slowdown produces fewer jobs, placing recent hires and new job candidates in a difficult situation compared to veteran workers.Students with internship experience on their resumes are likely to be the preferred applicants to increasingly selective companies.

“Recruiting top quality talent has become increasingly competitive for companies,” said Dr. Kent Gilbreath, professor of economics and Stevens Chairholder of Private Enterprise and Entrepreneurship.

“Students who have held an internship by them are more likely to be recruited by them.”Gilbreath said students with real-world internship experience and knowledge will be more likely to get hired.

The Career Services department will offer more resources this semester to assist students in obtaining valuable internships.

The department will hold six job fairs this spring, along with on-campus interviews and updated online internship searches.“Sixty percent of hires now are a result of internships,” said Dr. John Boyd, Career Services director.

The February HireABear Career Fair will have 37 companies seeking interns. Students can log into HireABear from the Career Services Web page to register for the event, or for on-campus interviews.

HireABear’s job search now lists 153 internship opportunities in Texas. Career Services also offers resume critiques to help students obtain desired internships.

Senior James Nortey interned with the FBI last summer, working in an office of law-enforcement coordination. He values the experience he gained and advices other students to obtain internships while in college.

“Internships are [the company’s] way of pre-hiring,” Nortey said. “The biggest thing is to start early because some internships are so competitive. And to have a killer resume.”

Junior Jessica Evans was a full time intern at the White House last semester. She worked 40 hours a week in the presidential scheduling office.

Evans said the experience opened up new career opportunities.“I’m hoping to work at the Bush Library, and I’ve made a lot of great contacts. [The internship] got my foot into the door so I can work for him full time after I graduate,” Evans said.

One of the highlights of The White House internship was posing in a picture with President George W. Bush, Vice President Dick Cheney and the other interns. Evans described the internship as being “the best experience I’ve ever had.”

Dr. Blaine McCormick, associate dean of Hankamer School of Business, said an internship “might be the most valuable thing to have on your resume.”

McCormick stressed the importance of obtaining a good degree and “relevant work experience.”

Since more students are graduating from college today, the job-finding process is becoming more competitive.Gilbreath said “Students need to become acquainted with the Career Center very early in their time at Baylor- beginning with career analysis their freshman year.”

He advises students to prepare a resume by the second semester of their sophomore year.“Try to nail down your internship by your junior year,” Gilbreath said.

Creative Cake Toppers

Creative Cake Toppers-

Have Your Cake and Eat It Too

By Courtney Jewett

Word Count: 646

*published in San Antonio Weddings Magazine

If plastic figurines aren't part of your wedding plans, area professionals just may have what pleases you. In fact, modern brides who want to forgo the traditional bride-and-groom have plenty of creative alternatives when it comes to what sits on top of their wedding cake.

All Things Chocolate

Richard Berchin, owner of Creative Chocolates, a local shop that has served bridal couples for almost 20 years, recently adorned a wedding cake with a 20-inch reproduction of the Eiffel Tower.

"The tower was created entirely of dark chocolate,” says Berchin. “It had to be made in parts and then assembled to create the full effect."

Custom-made wedding toppers related to a location that holds significance to the bride and groom is among the latest trends this chocolatier sees often.

"Sea-shells and beach related toppers are some of the most frequently used themes," adds Berchin. "Or, if the bride and groom are from different cities, we might recreate the recognizable buildings in those cities."

He also recalls creating a golf hole on the top of a cake to display where one couple first met. They provided him with a picture of the actual hole to help with the design.

"I colored the chocolate to resemble the greens, the trees, the sand traps and water to fully re-create the scene,” he says. “Every cake topper we make is different, but it's all done in chocolate.”

Elegant Initials

Lana Lubashevskaya, known for her exquisite creations as owner of Pastry Garden, says the use of monograms as wedding toppers is another hot trend. Couples often use their first name initials as a way to personalize the cake in a simple but elegant manner."

Initials make up 65 to 70 percent of all our toppers," says Lubashevskaya.

"We make the initials in gold or silver with crystal stones."She adds that butter cream florets, edible depictions of the bride's flowers, are also frequently requested as are use of fresh flowers to adorn the bridal cake.

A Lasting Keepsake

Amanda's Fine Gifts sells another popular cake top option--- the Lladro, an elegant, high-quality figurine made of Spanish porcelain. Barry Harris, owner of the gift store, the largest Lladro dealer in Texas, says Amanda's Fine Gifts not only offers a vast array of the most current Lladro pieces but also provides a collection of rare, retired figurines. He believes brides love Lladros because they serve as a wedding keepsake. "

Brides often choose them because they last and can be kept as heirlooms," Harris says. "Lladros can be used for anniversaries for years to come, and can be passed down to future generations."

Harris recalls helping his daughter select the perfect Lladro for her wedding cake.

"My daughter is five feet tall and her husband is over six feet tall. When she was looking at Lladros, she couldn't find a bride and groom who represented their height difference,” he says. “She finally picked out a taller groom from one set and a shorter bride from another and put the two together to make her perfect cake topper."

Perfectly Pleased

Whichever kind of topper pleases bridal couples, wedding professionals agree that coming in with a basic idea is important."

Along with the date of the event, we need to know the dimensions of the wedding cake," says Berchin. "Without knowing the dimensions, brides run the risk of having a topper that doesn't fit.

"Brides who want a custom-made themed topper are encouraged to bring in a picture of the location or object they want recreated to help with the process."

A couple months ago a woman brought in a picture of her cake from her wedding fifty years ago,” says Lubashevskaya. “I was able to recreate the wedding cake and even find a similar topper for the couple's 50th anniversary."

Totally Traditional

Totally Traditional
Uncovering the Origins of Wedding Traditions

By Courtney Jewett
Word Count: 1,058
*published in San Antonio Wedding Magazine

In the 1964 musical, “Fiddler on the Roof,” Tevye, the father of five daughters, strives to maintain his family and stay true to the religious traditions of his Jewish heritage. It is early in the first Act when he exclaims that: “Without our traditions our lives would be as shaky as…as a fiddler on the roof!”

Indeed, traditions enrich our lives and it can be said that today’s weddings are where customs, rites and rituals are especially significant. From a bride wearing white to the ring being worn on the ring finger of the left hand, these traditions are passed down from generation to generation, and represent aspects of our heritage. In order to fully appreciate their significance, it’s important to have a sense of their origins and meanings.

The Wedding Ring

Ancient Egyptian pharaohs believed the circle, an unending symbol, represented eternity. According to Edith Gilbert, author of “The Complete Wedding Planner,” the wedding ring dates back to the 9th century, when rings were used to confirm marriage settlements.

In early Western history, brides were bought and sold. The rings were used as the groom’s payment to the bride’s family. As time passed, the ring came to symbolize the love and commitment shared between two individuals.

Gilbert further explains the ring is worn on the second finger (counting from the left) of the left hand because that finger was believed to connect directly to the heart by the so-called “vein of love.” Science has since proved that no such vein exists, yet the tradition continues.

Later, diamond rings were worn by brides in medieval Italy. Today, the diamond is still the gem of choice because it is the most durable stone in existence.

The Bride’s Dress

Up until the 18th century, brides wore a variety of colors for their wedding, with blue being particularly popular. But, during the 19th century, soft, light colors became more fashionable because they represented delicacy and fragility, which were thought to be ideal characteristics of women during that time period.

Queen Victoria is credited with starting the trend of wearing a white wedding dress in 1840 when she married Prince Albert. It is said that the photographs of the event were widely published and led many brides to choose the queen’s choice of color for their wedding affair as well.
Nancy Piccione, author of “Your Wedding,” adds that ancient Greeks believed the color white symbolized purity and joy. Still others add that white represents celebration and remains a central color in modern day weddings.

The Veil

History tells us that the Romans placed veils over brides to hide their identity from evil spirits. It was believed that veils would confuse demons that were said to be jealous of the bride’s happiness.

Carol Wallace, author of “All Dressed in White,” says veils were also used in arranged marriages to conceal the bride. The groom would raise her veil at the end of the ceremony, and see his wife’s face for the first time.

Today, the veil’s significance has changed to represent a woman’s innocence, modesty and purity. The veil is considered part of the custom of separating the bride and the groom before the wedding ceremony for good luck.

The Bride’s Bouquet

While the modern day bride may clutch the bouquet tightly to conceal nervously shaking hands as she walks down the aisle, Piccione says this tradition has its origin in ancient Rome, where brides carried herbs under their veils for good luck. Later, bridal herbs and flowers began to represent fertility for the couple.

Howard Kirschenbaum adds in “The Wedding Book” that throwing the bouquet became a common tradition in the U.S. in the late 1800s. During this time, the bride would have one bouquet for each bridesmaid, and then bind them together. She would then hide a ring within the collection of flowers. At the end of the ceremony, she would throw the bouquet and the couple would quietly exit while guests tried to find the ring among the bouquets. Today, this is the bride’s way of wishing luck to the single women in her wedding. The lucky woman who catches the bouquet is said to be the next to marry.

“Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a lucky sixpence in your shoe.”

Although the origins of this English poem are not known, it is thought to have been written in the Victorian era. Each aspect of the poem represents a good luck token for the bride.

The ‘something old’ represents a connection with the bride’s past and her family heritage. The ‘something new’ portrays the bride’s idealism and optimism for her future.

The ‘something borrowed’ is often borrowed from another married couple, and is their way of passing their luck onto the newlyweds. And, the ‘something blue’ represents purity, as well as permanency of marriage.
It is often the last line of the poem that is forgotten by modern day brides.

The sixpence is a British coin worth six pennies and represents financial security and prosperity for the couple. Today, some brides will uphold this tradition by placing a dime in their left shoe for the wedding.

The Wedding Party

It is believed that the idea of bridesmaids originated in order to help protect the seemingly vulnerable bride from the harm of evil spirits. Meanwhile, the role of groomsmen was to help capture the desired bride for the groom. Traditionally, the bridesmaids and groomsmen dressed in more formal attire than other guests so that evil spirits would confuse them for the bride and groom.

Gilbert adds that bachelor parties originated in Sparta, where the groom invited his friends to supper the evening before the wedding. This dinner was referred to as the “men’s mess.”

The Honeymoon

As noted by Piccione and Kirschenbaum, the word “honeymoon” derived from a special wine brewed from honey and yeast. The ancient Teutons drank this wine for the first month after marriage.

The idea of the honeymoon originated when grooms used to capture their desired bride, and then hide them after the ceremony until her family would stop searching for her. Today, the honeymoon has a much more positive connotation, and implies a period of escape and intimacy for the newlyweds as they begin their new life together.

Summer Romance

I'm not revealing when this was written. Perhaps previously and only now being posted...

Can you smell it? The mid-morning breeze is saturated with the soft aroma of Coppertone SPF 70+ mixed with the fragrance of freshly-squeezed lemonade. Oh yes- it's summer. Or at least it will be come June 21st, designated as the official beginning of the saucy season of incredibly hot temperatures.

Already, love is clearly in the air, and it's mixing with the scents of summer to form the ultimate kind of romance. The only romance worth bearing the 100 degree forecasts. It's time for a little summer romance, my friends.

I believe that there is no better time to begin a relationship then in the summer. The season brings with it a sense of refreshing vitality, brilliant brightness, and happy-go-lucky optimism that is imperative to the coincidental meeting of two soul mates. Or the hooking-up of bored, easily-amused twenty year-olds...whatever.

With summer only one unbearably hot day away, I have already witnessed two of my close friends fall into the onset of some serious summer romances. Myself, although undeniably challenged in the realm of dating, am surprised to have also fallen into the alluring seasonal romance that is known for its unexpected arrival and often too-quick departure.

My question for you is this:

How do you make a summer romance last longer than the empty bottles of tanning lotion, that six pack of bud light (with lime), and the Six Flags season passes?

Guys, love, and my attempt at uncovering the mystery

written September 3, 2007; published on Baylor Information Network

I blame the musicals, the movies, and the novels. Perhaps if Harry never met Sally, if Romeo realized he and Juliet were entirely too young to marry, or if Ewan McGregor never sang that lovely line: “the greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return,” well, things might be different. As a hopeless romantic, I consider love to be the highest of all values, the most wonderful of all feelings and the greatest gift life has to offer. I've wasted my time writing sappy love poetry, and faithfully seeking out the guy who has captured my heart. Dreaming, hoping, wondering, worrying…I’ve put more thought into this guy than I have for any math exam, English journal entry, short paper, or presentation, while knowing he may have no idea that I feel this way. It is more than the ideal of “true love” that drives me, it’s his smile, his mystery, and the assurance I feel that he is simply so special, I shouldn’t look away.

I am not obsessed, or drawn in by some sort of infatuation. I could describe (in detail) why I’m attracted to this individual, and outline his wonderful characteristics, but there’s simply no need. After all he might read this and realize all of the fuss was over him, and who needs that sort of complication? He is aware that I exist, and (unless he is completely oblivious) he must be aware of my feelings to some extant. From what I’ve heard, guys are built to have a sort of intuitive sense for these sorts of things. Like Superman or something.

Then again, it might be possible that guys do not have any sort of super-powers. I have come to realize in the past few days that I have absolutely no idea what guys mean, want, think, or feel whatsoever. Guys are hard to interpret, and impossible to understand. It’s far too easy to be mislead by their behavior, or misguided by their words. I, like many women, find myself completely confused and frustrated by them most of the time. I’ve seen the scenario repeatedly: Guy expresses interest in girl, spends significant amount of time with girl (at least as far as she sees it), and then forgets all memory of this girl the following day. Girl is left wondering what the heck happened, and seeks other females to discuss the matter with, hoping to come up with some sort of optimistic conclusion.

Perhaps it is the fact that I have zero understanding of the male thought process that allows for some hope to continue in the case of my particular guy. Maybe he really is interested, and just does an incredibly terrible job of expressing it. Or (better yet) maybe he will come to realize that we are (obviously) destined to be together, and will eventually express his undying love to me in the form of a lovely, romantic serenade beneath the beautiful star-light sky. If this is the case, I expect to be surrounded by a garden of red roses, and to have whistling blue-birds perched on my shoulder. Hey I’ve seen it happen…in the movies.

However, until such a scenario happens, the girl is left with the decision to hold out hope, or to forfeit it altogether in exchange for much needed resolution. I’m writing, very much in need of resolution, but still not willing to give up that hope. I do believe in the possibility that things might work out as they should

I believe that love finds a way. I believe in the magic of it all…even if he has no super-powers.

Kisses Goodbye

In Memory of Auntie
written July 4, 2007

She would have liked those flowers,

The ones laying at her side

Bright ones were her favorite.

They were the nicest we could find.

There was little time to find them

When we got the news that day

Auntie left without us knowing

And that was all the nurse could say

It must have been her time to go

It must have been His will

And so we visit her one more time

And watch her as she’s still

Now she’s with her sister,

Who passed just months before

I know she’s thrilled to see her

Kiss her at the door.

Some may never marry

Or have children of their own

Auntie never married

But loved every child in her home

Auntie helped to raise my grandmother,

When her mother lay to rest

And was there to watch my mother grow-up

and gave them all her best

We love you, Auntie

And hold you and Annie

We love you, Auntie

Remembering your joy will dry our tears.