written September 3, 2007; published on Baylor Information Network
I blame the musicals, the movies, and the novels. Perhaps if Harry never met Sally, if Romeo realized he and Juliet were entirely too young to marry, or if Ewan McGregor never sang that lovely line: “the greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return,” well, things might be different. As a hopeless romantic, I consider love to be the highest of all values, the most wonderful of all feelings and the greatest gift life has to offer. I've wasted my time writing sappy love poetry, and faithfully seeking out the guy who has captured my heart. Dreaming, hoping, wondering, worrying…I’ve put more thought into this guy than I have for any math exam, English journal entry, short paper, or presentation, while knowing he may have no idea that I feel this way. It is more than the ideal of “true love” that drives me, it’s his smile, his mystery, and the assurance I feel that he is simply so special, I shouldn’t look away.
I am not obsessed, or drawn in by some sort of infatuation. I could describe (in detail) why I’m attracted to this individual, and outline his wonderful characteristics, but there’s simply no need. After all he might read this and realize all of the fuss was over him, and who needs that sort of complication? He is aware that I exist, and (unless he is completely oblivious) he must be aware of my feelings to some extant. From what I’ve heard, guys are built to have a sort of intuitive sense for these sorts of things. Like Superman or something.
Then again, it might be possible that guys do not have any sort of super-powers. I have come to realize in the past few days that I have absolutely no idea what guys mean, want, think, or feel whatsoever. Guys are hard to interpret, and impossible to understand. It’s far too easy to be mislead by their behavior, or misguided by their words. I, like many women, find myself completely confused and frustrated by them most of the time. I’ve seen the scenario repeatedly: Guy expresses interest in girl, spends significant amount of time with girl (at least as far as she sees it), and then forgets all memory of this girl the following day. Girl is left wondering what the heck happened, and seeks other females to discuss the matter with, hoping to come up with some sort of optimistic conclusion.
Perhaps it is the fact that I have zero understanding of the male thought process that allows for some hope to continue in the case of my particular guy. Maybe he really is interested, and just does an incredibly terrible job of expressing it. Or (better yet) maybe he will come to realize that we are (obviously) destined to be together, and will eventually express his undying love to me in the form of a lovely, romantic serenade beneath the beautiful star-light sky. If this is the case, I expect to be surrounded by a garden of red roses, and to have whistling blue-birds perched on my shoulder. Hey I’ve seen it happen…in the movies.
However, until such a scenario happens, the girl is left with the decision to hold out hope, or to forfeit it altogether in exchange for much needed resolution. I’m writing, very much in need of resolution, but still not willing to give up that hope. I do believe in the possibility that things might work out as they should
I believe that love finds a way. I believe in the magic of it all…even if he has no super-powers.
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